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Submitted on
April 14
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:no:
You do not have to read on any further from this point and please just don't if all you're going to do is make a stink about having read it in a comment. If you read it and regret it, that's your problem. I did say you didn't have to. This won't really be anything bad but if reading things that are negative triggers you to be angry/upset then don't. I mean it, don't. 

------
I should have just not said anything.
Sorry. I'm not apologizing for saying anything but rather for the fact I often forget that 'people on the internet don't care'. -- Funny thing that, almost seems a bit backward compared to what I've actually read and seen. Then again, who knows, maybe I'm reading it wrong?
</sarcasm>

ANYWAY~

From now on if you want to read anything I write, go to Tumblr. 
No one pays attention there, so I'll post there or on a private blog where no one can read it.
If you have me on Skype we'll talk there. 

I'm not leaving but seriously, as great as the support has been from my friends there are just some people who say stuff that just does no help at all other than to make you feel worse. 
Mosquitoes are tiny bugs but when they bite it hurts like heck and then itches for quite a while.


Just a little word of advice: When someone is clearly upset or in a bad state of mind, they don't need people telling them the bitch a lot or need to stop bitching. That doesn't help like, at all. You might think you're clever or something but in reality it just makes you look like an insensitive prat. 
This right here is not bitching. There is a difference between letting off steam and bitching. One serves a purpose of making people feel bad, the other is meant to make you feel better by just generally letting out negative thoughts. 
Learn the difference, please?
Venting is a healthy outlet because it helps to get thoughts out and let them go. When you come along and proceed to get upset about someone venting and tell them to stop you're essentially telling them to stop bothering you with their stupid feelings. 
You're not obligated in any form or fashion to give a crap, you know? It's great that people did/do care, which was who I was talking too, but if you don't care; if it genuinely just twists your giblets that someone is upset then move on. 
There's literally no merit in a comment saying 'I never really comment on your work but --' when the only time you will comment is when it's on something negative. 

I've used this analogy before but I'd liken it to walking into a shoe store, announcing that you're putting on a pair of shoes you hate, and walking around the store yelling and screaming about how much you hate those shoes. 
It makes no sense. 
People vent and people get unhappy and sometimes they just want to let it out. I wrote those journals late at night when thoughts were mulling around in my head, alright? I figured since I'd gotten some decent advice before and made some friends on here I'd post it here and see what people had to say. 
It was really nice to read people being supportive and it helped calm me down a bit. However, those '1 out of 100' comments proceeding to tell me to stop bitching and saying 'you bitch a lot' -- No, I really don't. I don't get on here and complain about how I can't get an xBox or how my boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with me. 

Again, this isn't bitching. This is talking and speaking my mind on something, learn the difference. If you can't tell the difference then don't say anything. It's really that simple. 
I got a lot of "Do what makes YOU happy/feel better" comments which I find both comforting and ironic because venting helps me feel better but then it also apparently makes other people feel angry. 

Let me just repost this in case it wasn't clear: You do not by any means have to read anything I write. There's no obligatory contract that says that as a watcher of mine you have to read it. I label things now so you don't have to read it if you don't want to. I understand people don't like reading negative things. 
A journal to me is a place to post thoughts and feelings and since dA is the only place I've been on for a long time I post stuff here because it's the place I usually feel more comfortable posting things. Not to much lately. 
Then again I haven't been doing much of anything here lately. 

For the most part while those snarky comments are annoying I think people get the wrong impression that they like ruin my life or something. They bug me because they're just unnecessary and perfectly timed. People who 'bitch' about other people 'bitching' make no sense to me. Even more when they tell you how they don't usually comment and then only take the time to comment on something negative. 
It's like... 'Okay, and that is supposed to make you sound less like a jerk?'
If you don't like my 'bitching' then leave? Stop watching me or just my journals? What do you want me to say or do, stop doing what helps me cope just so you don't have to read it? Come on now... Let's not be that selfish, hmm? 

Once again, this isn't bitching. You want bitching then go to 'fml' forums or something where people complain about not having the latest game console, or how much they hate school. Even then, what the heck is wrong with a bit of bitching? We all do it. "Yeah, but we don't do it for the whole world to see, like you" -- are you entirely sure about that? 
I really don't owe you guys an explanation on this but since I don't really like leaving lose ends untied I'm giving you one. Not because I feel I have to but because I want to. 

People seem to be under this impression that every negative thing that happens just bowls me over and ruins my life. It doesn't, okay? There's a lot of annoying shit that happens to me that doesn't even get mentioned or even talked about to anyone because it's just not that important. 
However, when you're having a bad day everything and anything little can rustle your jimmies. When that happens you get angry and you let it out. Lately I just go for a walk or go talk to someone but since it was late at night and I don't live in the best neighborhood to be out at 2am in the morning mucking about, I posted my thoughts here. 
My intention was to delete it soon after but then I started to get some decent advice. Then of course...
How and why people seem to like leak in from the cracks to comment only on the negative things I post is beyond me. I think they feed more on the negativity than I ever do. 

Anyway, no... I'm not foaming at the mouth or all freaking out because someone said something mean and hateful. Fuck that noise... You want to hate me, get in line. It really doesn't bother me. 
Overlooking the fact that people's snarking and rudeness only a SMALL PART of why I'm feeling rotten. Seriously, the only reason why I mentioned it as an afterthought was because it was on my mind at the time. Otherwise for the most part it's not that big an issue. Just seems like it turns into one if I ever do say anything. Like we'll completely ignore the main subject and premise of the journal as a whole and focus on that one issue. 
Albeit I'm irritated but I'm not like laying her crying like an infant over this crap. I get mad, it happens. We all do... and we all have our outlets. If mine bothers you that much then leave and focus on something that does the opposite.

As I said, from now on I'll be posting that stuff to Tumblr, where no one pays attention anyway. It seems you can't say much of anything here without it being manipulated, twisted, and warped so other people have something to get angry about. 'Bitching' about someone 'bitching' is kind of redundant, just saying. More so when you have the power to just walk away/close the window. 
Let people bitch if they want to. Unless it's personally directed at you then don't take it personally. Sometimes you just have to let it out and let it go. 
In the meantime, thanks for the help from those who offered it. I did mean a lot and I did read it all. 

FYI: I never said I was leaving dA. People just assumed that because I said I wasn't going to be drawing anymore. I'm not 'coming back' or anything at all... I never left, haha! 
 

PS: Please stop assuming that just because I vent about negative things that I'm like over the edge or something. It's really just venting, nothing more. It's not directed at anyone personally, alright? It's just venting, blowing off steam, getting thoughts out, and putting thoughts in to something visual that I can read so I can gather my thoughts. 

The last two journals are gone, deleted because despite how helpful and kind some of you were, they were just vents/releasing feelings. They didn't need to stay up as they were intended to basically be written down and then removed once I sorted out the feelings that induced them. So those are gone which is fine, haha!
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:iconwhitelupine:
Whitelupine Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ninjakato.deviantart.com/art/R… just cuz the saying on it inspired me. 
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:iconsaisona:
Saisona Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Add me on skype if you ever need to talk, i know where you're coming from. :)
name:christie.niederhumer
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:iconblue-eyeswhitewolf:
Blue-eyesWhiteWolf Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You may add me on Skype, I'm usually there to talk anytime and I'm always in the mood to help anyone :)

my Skype name: vynnie.wolf1

I'm also glad your getting all your negative emotions out, I usually either draw them out or write poetry :)
-hugs- (>^.^)>
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:icon4kai:
4KAI Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
It's okay.. well.. it isn't okay but well... 

What I'm saying is that if people don't respect your decisions, then don't pay attention to them. So basically, screw the haters! Who needs them when you have all of these fans!
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:iconinsanitynothing:
insanityNothing Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I'm so sorry people are being brats -- sometimes one negative comment completely offshoots like ten positive ones, and when you get a bunch of them all at once, I know it's really hard. But we're here for you! Even those of us (like me) who kind of watch in the shadows (I'm always afraid of annoying people that I have huge art-crushes on, you being one of them) we're here for you. Sorry things have been rough with you, I hope everything gets better!! You have every right to vent on your own deviantART page and if people are gonna hate, then well...screw them! :)
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:iconchocomix:
Chocomix Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey! I just wanted to say - I'm gonna keep it short though - that you shouldn't care about all those negative comments, sometimes people seem to feel the need to be an ass. :c 
It's your decision whether you want to stop posting art - But I am sure that one cannot ever stop making art, breaks are a neccessity though and i think you made the right choice in calling everything off. Art is meant to be something enjoyable! 
I love your art, and I will keep loving it even if you stop posting the things you may make. c: 
Sometimes you just have to get away from stuff. So really I don't think there is any [mature] person who does not understand your decision!

I admire you for being able to be so open and talk about so many things in a journal everyone can see.
I hope lots of luck and inspiration goes your way - whether for art or not. 

Stay strong and just ignore those rude watchers that don't get the concept of politeness. :hug: 
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:iconsanatio:
Sanatio Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I think so many people are making rude comment is because when people annonce publicly that they are going to leave (even if it's not what you said but you "announced" quitting something) , it's mostly fake or to attract attention. So people get rude and insulting (not that I find it justified).

Personnaly, I've had friends on facebook who made public announcement of leaving FB, and then came back almost in less than a week. Some did that twice. So I don't believe them anymore. However, I know some people left, but never mentionned doing so, they just dissapeared.

Not enjoying drawing anymore is something that happens, and it's in your right to choose not to, but announcing it is what triggers the "haters" and make them accuse you of "dArama". Because way too much people are actually craving for attention by doing so, and that's how public announcement are seen nowadays on the internet.

Also sorry for my weird english, it's not my native language :/
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:icon18o5:
18o5 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry that you have such bad luck with rude watchers ;n; I think you're amazing!
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:iconstephiecat:
Stephiecat Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Venting is healthy for the mind and body *offers a cookie*
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:iconxxvibexx:
xXvibeXx Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Student General Artist
I like to watch people silently, mostly because I have low self-esteem, but I've watched you since I joined dA. I've had a few different accounts and I always made sure to watch you. Anyway, through all of that I've loved you and your work and I've cried after reading some of your journals because of all of the crap you go through...it sickens me that after all of that people still insist on being assholes to you. I really do hope that these jerks stop and realise what they're doing...it may not bother you much, but it's still not right. Vent as much as you need; the watchers who really care about you will always be here for you.
:iconhugplz:
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