Saying what I want to say to everyone is hard and gee you just did it in one journal entry
It annoys the fuck out of me when they say that.
I am slowly getting better though.Meditation,listening to music,drawing and exercise helps.Also trying to think more positive...Having a pet can help with that as well.Thanks for taking the time to write this.It needed to be said.
Want to cry everyday and have suicidal thought more than once a week...
I tried to seek help and see a doctor, but he told me he didn't "had time"... So I lose faith...
I searched many years to try to know what I have. With no success......
It's a cause and reason for someone to stay in the shadows, watch the world pass, hoping people around you won't notice the tears in your eyes or the marks on your arms.
I left at that.
You need to see someone if you are upset FOR NO REASON. If you're being bullied, yeah, I understand that, but sad for no reason is insane.
"You have everything catered to you, what do you have to be depressed about?!"
Because I'll trade lives with whoever you are in a heartbeat.
Are we talking manservants here? Billions of dollars?
I will end your depression if you have any of that,
just so long as you share.
Or someone just being a jerk? -_- People can be weird and cruel sometimes...
I tell myself to shut up, because we all get depressed.
I don't know.
I'm not speaking from experience, just a point of view.
--To This Day, Shane Koyczan
I've been on medicine before for it but it doesn't help. In fact, it made it ten times worse so I stopped taking it. I've started finding things that I can do when I feel an onset, like taking a long, warm bath and listening to some soothing music. Honestly, sometimes the best way I've found to deal is just to let myself have the breakdown and cry it all out and break some stuff. Not important stuff, but small things I'm going to throw out anyway. Bottling it up seems to make it worse for me. Not to mention it makes me angry and I already have anger issues. It makes for a real mess, let me tell you. Until someone has been there and knows what it's like to hate yourself and feel like your existence is pointless on a regular basis for no real reason other than your mind is telling you everything is terrible, they won't understand how it can affect your whole life or your work. Thank goodness for those who do understand. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here right now.
But when I were finished reading this, I still didn't find a solution to get out of it...
"I'm feeling depressed today."
I don't think people understand that it's not a temporary feeling?
Not to mention the fact that you can more than definitely have clinical depression and not even be sad all of the time.
I appreciate this journal.
And to those that don't understand depression or don't see how it affects people negatively in their every day life, be grateful.
It literally takes being in those shoes to understand, and it's a place I wouldn't wish upon anyone.